Coochiemudlo gets the Council treatment

Barbeques galore

Barbeques galore on Coochiemudlo

We recently published some comments about Redland City Council’s proposal to implement a Foreshore Landscape Plan for Coochiemudlo Island.

It was titled Council plan upsets Coochiemudlo residents.

If you’d like a taste of what it all means, island resident Peter Wear has written a Council press release from the future – it may be humorous, but the plan itself is no joke.

Redland City Council Media Release 2 November 2035

Citizens of the Redlands!

Did you know that the word “Coochiemudlo” (actually Kutchi Mudlo) comes from the unique dialect spoken on the island? It means “Cooked Meat”, and dates from the year of the Great Foreshore Makeover, 2015, when the number of Council BBQs on Coochiemudlo reached 1 per 67 residents, the highest percentage in the known world.

Redland City Council’s legendary planning division foresaw that visitation to Coochiemudlo would be greatly enhanced if burning and eating animal products became THE highlight of a day on the island.

There was even talk of making it mandatory. Distractions from cooking (grass, sand, trees, and views of the sea) were swept aside to make way for impressive steel and concrete shelters, power-hungry hot plates, and wiggly cement paths representing the tracks of the Planning Serpent.

Landscape designers refer to this as the LEOPOP approach – Like Every Other Park On the Planet.

Before long, day trippers began to succumb to the pressure of Council’s letterbox campaign, hauling meat to the island, and slaving over the hot plates. Outdated island recreations – swimming, walking, cycling, fishing, lying on the beach doing nothing – gave way to the more focused activity of over-cooking protein in carcinogenic oils. Yes, it took hours to buy, pack, refrigerate, transport, unpack and burn the meat.

But a picnic on Coochiemudlo was now every bit as joyful and liberating as cooking for the family at home – just less convenient.

With most day-trippers supplying and frying their own meals the island’s Kiosk and Red Rock Cafe soon went out of business. Islander’s rates, $150,000 worth, funded the BBQ revolution that closed them down. Several islanders lost their livelihood. And while the popular Boat and Bike Hire gang reinvented themselves as a BBQ scrub, gristle disposal and garbage operation, they never seemed quite as cheerful.

But, that’s progress, and a reminder to never get between a council planner and a truly awful concept.

Peter Wear

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5 thoughts on “Coochiemudlo gets the Council treatment

  1. Magnificent analysis Peter, can I add: never get between a Council Planner and any opportunity to cut a tree down with no intention of replacing it.

  2. Most people accept democratic and planned change as a benefit to the whole and much wider community so that everyone from all denominations can enjoy it whilst others abhor change unless it’s their own change and only managed by them. Coochie will still be beautiful even with these small improvements. The only difference is visitors will bring BBQ goods instead of a picnic so business won’t be as badly affected as surmised, in fact drawing more visitors will bring more potential customers. This article is scare mongering – some people really don’t like change.

  3. My message for the RCC is “Leave Coochie Alone” For the 8 years we lived on Coochie we went to endless meetings which Dowling chaired and the message was loud and clear…keep the emerald fringe and no “beautification” , removal of trees, widening of roads etc on the surf side of the road. Even a surf lifesavers club was knocked on the head. Bins were removed as they appeared to be an eyesore and visitors were asked to take their rubbish home. That’s how it should be…L.C.A.! People love Coochie because it has remained natural looking.

  4. Ouch, but planning for recreation is not ‘real” planning in the eyes of “our” Council.
    Asking users and residents what they do now and what they would like to do is not a strong suit here. People just don’t know what is good for them. Leave it the expert…the “planner god”. Perhaps they are learning from the great planner god ….Mr Seeney

    I bet there was a thought of a …..PDA… how Coochie could be opened for business and …jobs too in the construction “pillar”.

    Great story.

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